I accidentally had phone sex last night
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I look better un-naked...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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