Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
