There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
