You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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