My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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