did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
