Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
