So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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