you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
