Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize