I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
