Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
