No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
