oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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