Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
This toilet bowl is my home.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
