don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
