come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize