I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
