You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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