We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
