i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
