Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I have surprise drugs for everyone
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
