I don't usually arrange sex via text message
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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