whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
How naked do you want me to be?
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