bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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