how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
