halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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