Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?

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(518): View more from New York

i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.

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(708): View more from Illinois

Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.

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(619): View more from California

Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.

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(224): View more from Illinois

We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?

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(419): View more from Ohio

Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.

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(847): View more from Illinois

What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma

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(909): View more from California

Crop dusting thru forever 21

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