just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
