bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
