i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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