I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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