youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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