Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
