last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
