If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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