I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
