The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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