Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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