Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
