woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
