You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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