Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize