Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Mom said you looked used
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
