Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
