can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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