dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
