At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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