I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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