I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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