There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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