We won't sleep together?
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
