Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I am naked and annoyed.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize