Princesses don't give blow jobs
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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