marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
