She went from zero to smokin in five shots
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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