He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
