Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
