i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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