I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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