The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize