Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
