i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize