He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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