Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
