who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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